To Be Loved
by facelesswriting
Summary: What would it have changed if he knew what it was To Be Loved?
1. Prologue

He always came to this pub when he needed to get away, but that didn't make him any more comfortable in the muggle part of town. London was full of the hustle and bustle of Christmas, but this dark shadow was not in the spirit to celebrate, huddled in the far corner at the bar.

He came here because this pub was always quiet. The lights were kept low so no one would recognise him, not that anyone in this area of the city would anyway. He felt safe here. He'd come here for years now. Every chance he could get away from Hogwarts or his pitiful homelife, this was his escape.

The bartender was always the same portly old man. He was polite and quick with an order. Most importantly, he never asked questions. Like the majority of the patrons, he minded his own business. Until tonight, he'd never been approached here.

A small figure scrambled onto the tall bar stool next to him and gave a shy wave to the bartender before beginning to unbundle herself. Thick woolen mittens were removed to reveal leather gloves. Under her winter coat were multiple jumpers. Her knit cap was pulled off to unbind a waterfall of yellow hair that cascaded down her shoulders.

The shadow smirked at the young girl. She was obviously foreign, so unused to the chill. He shifted away as her movements of shedding her layers were bringing her closer to him. When he moved, however, she let out a gasp, her face flying to turn toward him.

"Golly! I just didn't even see you there!" One of her still gloved hands flew to her chest, as if to calm her racing heart, in a theatrical gesture that made him uncharacteristically roll his eyes.

He didn't answer, instead choosing to go back to his whiskey and shift further away.

"Sorry! So sorry! Obviously you're in a dark little corner all by your lonesome on Christmas Eve so I guess you wouldn't want to be bothered! I'll just-" He sneered at her but wasn't given any time for a scathing retort as the bartender came over to take her order.

She ordered her own whiskey, but when the barman didn't immediately move away, she remembered, "Oh, right! Let's see! I've got my money here somewhere!" She dug through her pockets of coat before she came up with a wad of bills and coins. She began trying to count it out but her leather-clad fingers were lacking in dexterity, and she dropped several of the coins off the counter. "Oh, dear! Let me just-"

The tiny little thing was trying to scramble back off her stool when the shadowy man spoke up, "Put it on my tab."

Her head whipped around to look at him again, and she smiled warmly while thanking him, but her bright eyes were calculating and cold. She surveyed him as he turned back to his drink. He was dressed in black from head to toe and had long black hair going every which way, as if he'd just come in from the wind, but his coat, also black, was draped casually off the bar next to him, and his fingers and nose had none of the ruddy colour they would have if he'd just come from the cold.

After a moment, she spoke again, "Here let me pay you back," and off she went, ruffling through her monies once again.

The paper rustling and coins clinging, did nothing to help his patience, and he slammed his hand down over hers. "There is no need if that will get you to stop that horrible racket."

She looked down at her hands, feeling like a chastised child, and wondering how, angry as he was, his voice could still sound like velvet. After a moment, she began feeling awkward with his one large hand still covering her own, and she looked up at him. He was staring at her with cold, black eyes, and she swallowed, feeling a ping of both fear and intrigue in the pit of her belly. Realising he was waiting for acknowledgement, as if she really were a wayward child, she squared her shoulders.

Staring back into his bottomless eyes, she stated, "Now I see why you're in a dark little corner all by your lonesome on Christmas Eve!"

"I seem to notice that you also chose to sit in a dark little corner all by your lonesome on Christmas Eve as well. I need not wonder at the reason." He retorted, removing his hand and returning to hunching over his drink.

She sniffed, nose still red from the cold, and stared at her lonely hands.

Hearing the sniffling of the young woman next to him, the bitter man sighed, "If I have struck a nerve, I apologise." He didn't know why he was still talking to her, she'd been nothing but annoying since she sat down, but part of him felt sorry for her. She looked so young and vulnerable, reminding him a bit of his earlier self.

"Of course you struck a nerve!" She spit at him, blue eyes sparkling in her sudden rage. "No one wants to be alone on Christmas except obviously you! You'd think you'd have the common decency to just leave me alone!"

His dark eyes turned thunderous at her tone and he leaned nearer to whisper to her, "I believe it is you who is not leaving me alone. Just as it was you who came to sit next to me and you who brought up my being alone on Christmas Eve first. Twice."

Her voice was as small as his was dangerous as she answered, "I'm sorry."

He sighed, waving away her apology. "In any case, if you don't want to be alone, why are you? Surely you must have some family to go join."

With that the little woman next to him resumed her earlier sniffling. "My parents. They died."

Uncomfortable with the situation he'd brought upon himself and unknowing of how to deal with it, he shifted on his stool. After a moment of silence, in which the bartender apparently deemed it safe to bring her drink, he settled for, "Mine too."

She looked up from where she was swirling the amber liquid around her mug, "Recently?"

"No," came his bitter reply, "a long time ago."

She nodded her head and went back to somberly staring at her drink.

Wanting to break the discomfited, melancholy silence that had settled around them, he asked, "What made you want to move countries so soon after?"

She looked back up at him, "Is it that obvious?"

He let out a rare chuckle, "Which part? That you're foreign or that it was recent?"

"Both," she answered, laughing with him.

He nodded at her hands, "You don't know the money. As for the other, you wouldn't have asked me if it wasn't recent for you."

She snorted, "You're pretty observant, aren't you?"

"Observant enough to note that you didn't answer my question."

"Wha- oh! I'm from here," at his dubiously raised eyebrow, she rushed on, "I haven't been here in a while, but this is where I was born. My parents and I traveled all over together, but I never really had a home. I figured now was a good time to settle down.

"Now it's my turn."

"For what?" He questioned.

"I answered one of your questions, now you answer one of mine. If it's been so long for you, why are you still moping?"

She laughed at his outraged expression, "I am not moping!"

"Then what are you doing here?" She countered.

"This is where I always come to get away, and this is where I always sit."

"And what are you getting away from?"

The man knew he didn't have to answer her. He knew he could just go home and never see her again, but he also knew her words would ring in his head, and for some reason, maybe that they were in his safe place, he felt comfortable talking to this annoying and somehow perceptive woman. Still, he hesitated long enough to reach into his pocket and use his wand to cast several charms to reveal if she were magical, under Imperius, or disguised in some way. When they all came up negative, he sighed for what felt like the billionth time that evening and answered, "Life's a bitch. You wouldn't understand."

"My parents-" she hesitated, taking a breath to fortify herself, "died a week ago. Try me."

He shook his head at her, a tiny pull playing on the edges of his lips. If you were optimistic, it could be called a smile. "I was bullied through school-"

"Move past it. I obviously don't know you too well, but you're better than letting others pull you down."

He glared at her for interrupting, and she held her hands up in surrender. "I only had one friend. She was my whole world. A year ago, she got engaged to one of the blokes who tormented me. Two months ago, on the eve of her wedding, she came to me. She said she couldn't get married to him, said he wasn't me, but," he hesitated, half wondering why he was telling this strange girl all of this, half wondering why she was listening, and half wondering how to phrase a story that had never been told, "I made bad choices when she got engaged. I got involved with the wrong people. That night we slept together, but when morning came, I had to be honest so I told her everything. By evenfall she was married."

The blonde's face was dripping with sadness, and she reversed his earlier action, now covering his hands with hers. She opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off, "She announced to her friends this morning that she was pregnant. She sent me a letter telling me. Now I've really lost her.

"I've always loved her. Of course I did, we grew up together. But I didn't love her like that, and now I've ruined everything by making her believe otherwise."

"You know," the mysterious woman told him, "I've always believed that people enter and leave our lives for a reason. Maybe her part in your story was over."

He smirked at her, "Then why did you enter my life?"

"Well, I had to tell you that."

"And what do you get out of it?" he questioned, not believing there could be something so simple to it.

"Oh, I'm terribly lost. You came into my life to give me directions." She threw her head back and laughed with childlike abandon at his disbelieving expression. "But really, I have no idea where I am. Do you know where the University of London is? It's between Russell Square and Gordon Square, I think, but I've no idea where that is. My hotel is near there."

He laughed along with her. "Yes I know where Gordon Square is. How did you get all the way over here? It's quite far."

"I went for a little walk and got turned around. I guess I walked further than I thought." She trailed off.

"Apparently." He smirked at her.

She seemed embarrassed, and conversation died for a few minutes before she explosively exclaimed, "I'm in the Institute of Education! I'm going to teach! Can you even believe it?"

The stranger stared at her, horrified, "I beg of you, do anything but teach. It's about the worst profession a person could chose."

She pouted. "How would you know?"

"I'm a chemistry professor at a private school up north. I'm only in my second year of teaching, and those brats are already going to kill me."

She laughed at him, and he could feel himself slowly relaxing even more around her. Hours later found them sitting on the same stools as last call was announced.

The pair gathered their things and walked to the door, "It's quite late." He told her, "It will be quite a walk in the cold, especially dark as it is. Why don't you come to my flat?"

Her large eyes grew impossibly wider at his words, and he rushed to reassure her, "I'm not trying to seduce you, I promise."

She laughed at him and agreed. Walking down the street, the man wouldn't have been recognisable by anyone, even if they'd known him his entire life long, light and laughing as he was. Suddenly, however, he stopped, "I didn't even ask your name."

"Oh, dear me! I didn't ask yours either! I'm Alyvia Gray, and you are?"

He shook her outstretched hand, "I'm Severus. Severus Snape."

* * *

**A/N: Might just leave this as a one-shot. I just like the idea of Snape being happy. I've been seeing a lot of Snape-hate and anti-Snape Apologists lately, but I don't think he had to be the way he was - plus, he was keeping a cover while protecting a kid he hated. I don't know, I just think he deserves a little happy, and maybe if he had gotten that happiness sooner, it could've changed things. As always, let me know what you think!**

**~faceless**


	2. Chapter 1

**Heyo faceless back with the horribly irregular updates! I've set a reminder on my phone so you'll get once a month (or more if I feel super productive) updates on this story. It's a long one so far so buckle up and hold onto your hats.**

* * *

Chapter 1:

Harry Potter lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling. His last family member was dead.

The word resonated in his head, getting louder and louder until he had no choice but to voice it aloud, "Sirius is dead." The sentence shattered the silence of his dormitory, just as it had shattered his heart as he'd watched his godfather fall through the Veil just days before.

His friends seemed to understand that he didn't want to talk about it, and left him alone. He went between feeling numb and reeling with emotion. He had nowhere to go now. He would never live with his beloved godfather.

Towards the beginning of the year, Wormtail had been captured. Under Veritaserum, he'd confessed to faking his murder, and Sirius was cleared of all charges. His first move as a free man was to declare the Dursley's as unfit guardians and adopt Harry himself. They had plans to move into Grimmauld Place together at the end of the year. Sirius had spent months doing up a room for him, even before the adoption went through a month ago.

Now that would never happen.

A knock came at the door. Figuring it was one of his friends and that they'd come in regardless of his answer, he didn't bother to reply. When the door opened, however, he looked up at the intruder.

Dumbledore stood in the doorway with a distraught looking McGonagall and a businesslike Madam Bones behind him. "Pardon us, Mr Potter. The results are in."

Harry sat up on his bed, his dull eyes watching them walk into the room. People from the ministry had come as soon as Sirius had died and Dumbledore had been restored as Headmaster. It seemed that his birth file at the ministry was incomplete.

Everyone knew that James Potter was his father, but the file was suspiciously blank in that aspect. Procedure required that they take a new blood test and make sure the magical resonances in it matched those of James before they could legally find his next closest relative.

Honestly, Harry thought it was a wonder that he had any relatives left at all.

Procedure also dictated that Harry had to be there to read the results so Madam Bones handed him an envelope, and he distractedly opened it. He pulled out the parchment inside and read off in a bored voice, "The magical resonances between Harry James Potter and James Charlus Potter do not match. There is no familial-wait. What?"

He looked up at his Headmaster. "What does this mean?"

Dumbledore's face was dropped in shock, as was McGonagall's, so Madam Bones answered for them, "It means that more blood tests are in order."

SSHPSSHP

Harry was quiet through dinner. It was apparent that Hermione wanted to pester him, but after his first less than polite reply, she restrained herself. Ron, Ginny, and Neville sat silently and stoically by his side.

Halfway through dinner, Hermione couldn't take it anymore, "But they must have found someone!"

"Well they haven't!" He shouted at her, shoving his plate back and getting up from his table. Before Hermione or the rest of his friends could even react, he had stormed out of the now silent Great Hall.

Harry felt the eyes on his back as he left, but he was too angry to care. He wandered around the school until he found a secluded alcove down in the recesses of the dungeons. He knew none of his friends would look for him there.

He sat on the cold floor silently for a while, but soon he began to talk to the imaginary figures of his parents. He lashed out at the stone walls, begging the bricks to tell him why this had to happen to him and cursing them for their silent mockery and their inability to feel.

SSHPSSHP

The Great Hall erupted after Harry left. It seemed everyone wanted to know what had upset the Golden Boy so, but no one had the answers.

At the Head Table, Severus Snape was luckily sat next to the one man that would know what was wrong. He leaned over in all his arrogant grace, "What, pray tell, caused that?" He sneered quietly to the Headmaster.

Dumbledore, with pity in his eyes, informed him, "We got the paternity test back today. Simple formality, you know, but necessary all the same. Only, it had rather shocking results."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"James isn't Harry's father," Albus turned toward him, confusion mixing with the pity.

Severus' mind flashed back to that day so long ago in October before Lily's silly Halloween wedding, and fear pooled in his stomach. He shook it off. If he'd been the father, Albus wouldn't drag it out this way. "So who is?"

"We don't know yet."

Severus' stomach dropped, his fear rushing back. This couldn't be possible. The boy didn't even look like him! He looks like James Potter. He had to be Potter's spawn.

Calmly he nodded to the Headmaster and simply turned back to his dinner, but inside he was falling apart. He could feel himself paling at his own thoughts. Harry Potter! His child! It couldn't be!

He thought of the way he'd treated the boy all those years. He'd been harsh, cruel at times, to his own child. He felt sick. The boy would never forgive him. No, Severus decided, the boy had nothing to forgive him for. He wasn't his child.

And yet, a gnawing feeling was in the back of his head, and a certainty lay in his gut.

The timeline worked. Even Lily had told him in her letter sixteen years ago that she must've gotten pregnant on their wedding night. Severus had bedded her only a night before.

Even the prophecy would still make sense. Actually, it would work perfectly. By the time Harry had been born, he'd given Dumbledore information exactly three times about Voldemort.

Further, who could say the child didn't look like him? Sure, the boy was kissed with a golden glow, but Severus had never spent the time outside to learn whether or not he tanned. He had his inky black hair, and few people knew that Severus' hair was so greasy because he coated it in product to keep it both protected from potion fumes and hanging straight instead of the messy way it always wanted to fly. He was not cursed with an overly large nose like Severus, but they had similar facial features, wide eyes, sharp jaw, long forehead. He had long, dexterous fingers. They would never know if he would be as tall as Severus due to the malnourishment he'd suffered at the hands of the Dursley's.

Severus felt rage flash through him at his last thought. True, he'd been too harsh to the boy in the past, but he hadn't known he was family, and he'd been trying to keep his cover. The Dursley's had known better. It was also true that he'd never cared for the boy, but whether he liked him or not, he felt a certain sentimentality toward the boy now that he might be his son.

Despair welled in him. It had taken Sirius Black to get him out of that hell hole. It had taken his enemy to save his possible son. Gratefulness mingled with his sorrow. He should have been there for the boy. He'd suffered abuse, he should have known the signs and gotten Harry out. Further, he should have demanded Lily get a paternity test when she told him she was pregnant. He should have recognised the possibility of the child being his.

But no, he'd been too caught up in the grief of losing her friendship, and when he'd recovered from that heartbreak, he'd been too immersed in his own little love story to care about his traitorous friend.

Harry's parents had died on their two year anniversary. What a tragedy it would have been if only Severus would have paid it any mind. He'd grieved for his friend, but that friendship had been buried long ago. He'd not even thought of the night they'd spent together.

Regret, hopelessness, grief, worry, anger, and more all swirled up in Severus. His nausea was becoming unbearable, and he excused himself from the Great Hall.

Restlessly, he paced the halls that night. He knew he should tell Albus what he suspected. It would make it much less of a shock when the time came. He even contemplated telling the boy. He dismissed the notions. It would only complicate things should facts arise indicating otherwise. Besides, the child wouldn't even believe him if he had any sense on his shoulders. Earlier this very year he'd seen the explosive ending to his friendship with Lily, there was no reason for her to come back to him so long afterwards.

Still, she had. And Severus knew she was not the type of girl to have been with multiple men, especially not in such a small space of time. No, the only options were him and James, and James had already been ruled out.

Severus looked to the ceiling, apologising to James, wherever the man was now. He didn't deserve that. Severus should have never allowed Lily to invite herself to his bed, but it was in the past now, and there was nothing left to do but face the consequences.

And oh, Circe! Severus gripped the roots of his hair, pulling as he spun around in an uncharacteristic display of frustration. Alyvia didn't deserve this either! Yes, the girl from the pub had become his wife, and though she knew about his short relationship with Lily, that didn't mean she was prepared to welcome his illegitimate child into her home.

He didn't know what he was to do. His determination was waning. He was going to just have to wait until the test came back, and hope to Merlin that Alyvia would forgive him. He had nothing left to do but hope and beg for forgiveness now.

Decided on his pitiful course of action, Severus turned back to his quarters, taking a different route this time. Just because it was not his night to patrol the halls didn't mean he couldn't catch his snakes out of bed and send them back before they got caught.

On his way back, he heard mumbling. Turning a corner, it became even louder. He deviated from his path. These halls were not oft traveled, even by his snakes. Whoever was down here most definitely did not belong.

Rounding a few more corners, he came to the hall where the culprit must be hiding. He brightened his Lumos charm so he could check the alcoves as he passed them.

Deep in the shadows of one, he found none other than Harry Potter muttering to himself. The boy didn't seem to notice him, regardless of the light he carried.

"Mr. Potter," he called, expecting his student to jump to his feet with attitude, insults, and excuses flying, but he didn't even move.

Worried despite himself, Severus stepped into the alcove. Closer, he could see that Harry's head was bobbing slightly in sleep, and that the boy had tear tracks running down his face. Obviously, he'd fallen asleep crying.

A pang shot through Severus' chest, and he so badly wanted to pull the child that could be his into his arms where he belonged and hold him tight. Instead he was confined to simply reaching out and shaking his shoulder.

"Harry," he called softly, crouched next to him.

At the sound of his name, he jerked awake, looking sightlessly around him for his waker. Severus dimmed his wand and reached out to properly place Harry's glasses on his nose. The boy blinked the sleep from his eyes before looking to his professor.

"Harry?" Severus asked him, making sure the boy was fully awake. Harry looked at him questioningly. He was never spoken to like this by the Bat of the Dungeons. "It's time for you to go to bed."

Harry, confused, allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He knew Snape was on their side of the war, but he had never gotten this level of care, even in private at Grimmauld Place. "You're not going to take any points?"

"Would you like me to?"

Harry shook his head, confusion still pinching his features. Studying his face, even in the dim lighting, Severus could place every feature that had come from him. Now that he knew, there was no doubt when he looked at Harry that the child was his. The shape of his eyes came from Severus' mother as well as his high cheekbones. The hair purely belonged to Severus, while the boys bushy eyebrows came from Severus' father. All the Snape men had the same hard jaw.

"Go then." Severus answered him. He had almost told the boy when he'd recognised the features. He needed to get away from him for now. He needed to talk to Alyvia. He needed a drink.

"Yes, sir." Harry nodded and ducked away from his professor. He hurried through the halls, afraid that if he didn't go fast enough, his usual nasty professor would make a reappearance and give him a detention.

Severus sighed, watching his son walk away from him. When the boy rounded a corner, and Severus could no longer see him, he turned away and slowly made his way back to his rooms.

There, he deactivated the wards from his fireplace and activated his Floo. Calling to go home, he stepped through to an unusually quiet house. He was used to chaos greeting him at the door, and he wondered briefly at the time.

However, Alyvia was still awake, sitting in an armchair in front of the fire in their small, cluttered sitting room, a book in her hands. She looked up when the fire turned green. It still startled her sometimes, but a grin overtook her face when she saw her husband. She set down her book to wrap him in a hug but pulled back when he didn't return it.

"What's wrong?" Severus smiled at the fact that he was so easy for her to read and pulled her into his lap as he sat in her chair.

"We need to talk."

She groaned. "Can't you just come home for fun for once?"

Her eyes were twinkling though so he knew she wasn't angry. Though his sarcasm had rubbed off on her over the years, her satire wasn't nearly as vicious, and he was tempted to laugh, sending his eyes to look at the ceiling and what lay beyond it. "I think I've come home just for fun a few more times than just once." He couldn't bring himself to laugh this time, though he did give her a tight smile. "I'm afraid not this time, love."

She gave a theatrical sigh and pretended to swoon, throwing herself over the high armrest to let her arms dangle to the floor. "What now?"

"It's about Lily."

She sat up at that, all of her earlier humour gone, "What about her?" Alyvia wasn't the jealous type. She had accepted his past very easily, knowing that he'd had no romantic feelings for his old friend. She was also exceedingly easygoing. Any problem could be dealt with easily or swept under the rug as far as she was concerned.

"Well," Severus started slowly, knowing that this was going to become one of their rare arguments, "you do remember what I first told you about her?"

"She was your friend, married your nemesis. You shacked up with her once right?"

Severus winced.

"Uh-oh. What sticky situation did you get yourself into now?" She laughed at her joke but schooled her face when he didn't laugh with her.

"I told you when we first met that I was at the pub because she'd sent me a letter informing she'd gotten pregnant."

"And Harry's yours?" She asked. She'd heard a lot about Harry over the years. Severus continually complained about his behaviour, but Alyvia had always thought that Severus didn't like him because they had the same stubborn streak and temper.

Severus nodded slowly, watching his wife's face closely for any kind of reaction. "So when do I get to meet him?" She asked, smiling brightly.

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**A/N: So obviously this is a family story, not a romance - though there may be romance in the future for our young protagonist! Let me know what you think and ESPECIALLY if you're confused in the upcoming chapters. Sev's a little OOC in this fic, but then that's the point, isn't it?**

**R&R**

**~faceless**

**Also! I obviously started this fic awhile ago, and it feels really good to be back. Thanks for joining me :)**


	3. Chapter 2

Severus Snape was not his usual proud, sweeping self as he trudged up the stairs to the Headmaster's Office. It had to be nearing three in the morning, but Severus knew the gargoyles would have alerted the Headmaster to his visitor.

Sure enough, as soon as Severus pushed open the door, he saw Albus sitting behind his desk, the only tell that he'd just awoken being his dressing robe.

"What can I do for you, my boy?"

Severus slumped into a plush chair before the desk, taking a handful of the lemon drop candies the Headmaster favoured as he went. Professor Dumbledore's bushy eyebrow rose, betraying his surprise. "How goes the search for Pot- er - is he even a Potter anymore?"

The Headmaster sat forward, his interest piquing at the unexpected question. "Yes, my boy, still a Potter. And the search goes slowly, though that's to be expected."

"Why?"

"The ministry has to check the database of all known magical signatures. Even then, his father might not be in the database, especially should he turn out to be a muggle."

Severus nodded, seemingly uninterested in the answer, "If there were a way for me to help to, say, speed up the process, would you keep an open mind?"

Laughing, the Headmaster answered, "A muggle once said the mind is like a parachute: it only functions if it's open. But, Severus, how could you help?"

"Just- just don't ask questions, and test this. Tell me if it matches," And with that Severus pulled a small vial from his pocket, placing it on the Headmaster's desk. The thick red liquid sloshed inside as he did so. "Evening, Headmaster."

Albus watched the hunched man leave his office, a troubled expression on his face. When the door swung shut, he turned to the vial sitting atop his desk, plucking it up with deft fingers. "Surely if the boy was his, the lad would have said something?"

SSHPSSHP

The next morning was a quiet affair for the teachers. By now they'd all heard of Harry's predicament and they all felt for the poor child. The sparse murmurs of the students showed most of them knew now as well.

Albus turned to Severus when the noise level rose a bit, trying to remain unheard, "Last night I took that vial to St. Mungo's. The night staff is always more, shall we say, discreet."

Severus inclined his head, but did no more to show he was listening.

"The results are back."

At this, Severus did react, "So soon?"

"Oh you'd be surprised what strings you can pull with a few well-placed words,"

"And?"

"It was a match, but-"

"I have to make a call."

"Severus, I must ask you who-" Albus stopped yelling after the man as the teachers' door swung shut.

"Albus, dear, what was that about?" Minerva asked, craning around Hagrid to see him better. Albus turned to see half the Hall was staring up at him.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," he replied, excusing himself.

SSHPSSHP

Severus rose from his knees before the fireplace just as a knock sounded on his door. Without hesitation, the door opened and the Headmaster swept inside.

"Severus, I must ask you who that blood sample came from. This is the boy's future we're talking about."

"You think I don't know that!" He snapped. "What do you think I gave it to you for? What do you think I came down here for? But it's not just his life we're messing with anymore, Albus, there are others to think of here."

"Severus, the term ends in less than a week. I have nowhere to send him if you don't tell me who that sample came from."

"Yes, because your choice of where to send him worked out so gloriously the last time!"

Albus took a step back. The way the Dursleys had treated Harry was still a low blow to the old man, "Severus you have no right to-"

"Of course I have a right, Albus! Haven't you figured it out yet? Of course I have a right! The boy's my son!"

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**A/N: Who else gets the feeling Dumbledore won't exactly be happy about this development? As always, let me know what you guys think!**

**Super short chapter this time but it's early so... Don't worry they won't all be this short.**

**~faceless**


	4. Chapter 3

Three days later, the night before the term was over, Harry was called to Professor Dumbledore's Office.

He opened the door, slowly, already knowing what the meeting was going to be about. When he entered, he saw the Headmaster wasn't alone; Professors McGonagall and Snape by his side.

"Er- hello, Professors."

"Harry, my boy, take a seat, take a seat. Lemon drop?"

"No thank you, sir," Harry fidgeted awkwardly in his seat, glancing at the two other professors.

"Well then, Harry," Dumbledore continued, snapping Harry's attention back to him, "I guess you know why you're here."

"I guess I do, sir."

Dumbledore nodded solemnly before turning back to Snape, putting out his hand as if wordlessly asking for something. Snape's eyes were hard as he pulled an envelope from his robes and handed it to the Headmaster. Turning, Dumbledore handed it to Harry.

"It's open," for once, no biting remark came from his Potions Professor as Harry looked up from the future he held in his hands.

"Yes, well, one party of the test had to be present or if they were over the age of majority, they could give permission for someone else to do the reading, not necessarily you, Harry." Harry turned to look at Professor McGonagall. She never called him by his given name. A sharp pain went through his chest at the thought of not being a Potter anymore.

"How'd you know who he was before opening it?"

"We had a- Well you could say we had a bit of a hint," the Headmaster murmured, looking back at Snape. Harry turned to him questioningly, but he just motioned to the letter in Harry's hands.

He looked back to it, taking a breath to steel himself against the results, and he could swear he heard someone else doing the same thing. Harry pulled the parchment out and flipped it open, reading the contents, "The magical resonances between Harry James Potter and Sever- You? You! How could it be you!" He screamed. "When you found me in the corridor the other day, and you didn't take any points, you knew! _You knew!_ Didn't you! Deny it!"

The last part sounded more like a plea, and Snape hung his head. "I- I _suspected, _but-"

"No." Harry's voice was steel as he flippantly tossed the parchment to the floor. "No, this test is wrong. There was a mistake. We'll do another one. This one is wrong." Snape tried to cut in, coming to sit next to his child, but Harry flinched away, "She _hated_ you!"

"She did, but-"

"No. No." Harry looked up to excuse himself to his Headmaster, but the man and McGonagall were no longer there. Instead, Harry heaved himself onto shaking legs and made his way to the door. It wouldn't open. "No," he repeated.

"Harry, I can explain."

"No!" Harry whirled on him, and Severus saw the tears streaming down his face. "No! You were here the whole time. The whole time you could have done something! You could have stopped this shite from happening to me, but instead you just made it worse! You were awful! You were _horrible_! You could have been there for me! You _should _have been there for me!" Harry was hysterical, and Severus rose to his feet, pulling his son into a rough hug, awkward but caring.

"I'm sorry, Harry, if I'd have known-"

"How couldn't you have known?" Harry's voice was soft now, defeated, and he was clutching onto Severus' robes to keep himself upright. "The place on my birth records was left blank. Doesn't that mean Mum knew?"

Severus' face twisted to a grimace, "If she did, she never felt it fit to tell me."

"Oh."

"Will you let me explain?" Harry nodded so Severus guided him back to his chair, taking the one opposite, and he told his son the same story he'd told Alyvia all those years ago.

When he was finished, Harry only had one question, "What do you mean you loved her but didn't?"

"I loved your mother, Harry. I still do. She was my best friend, my only friend. But I never loved her any other way than that."

"Not the way my da- my-"

"Your dad?"

"But he's not."

"But he was."

"Why are you being so understanding about this?"

Severus smiled, a real smile, for the first time Harry had ever seen, "You have to learn a little bit of understanding in a family as big as mine- ours." Harry's eyes popped open comically wide at that, but Severus just smiled and shook his head, amending himself, "Besides, Alyvia would have my hide if I were anything other than perfectly sweet."

The words sounded so odd coming from the greasy dungeon bat that Harry almost didn't question who he was talking about. Again, however, Snape shook his head, "That can all be explained later. For now, do you understand why we asked you to come alone?"

"Because you knew I'd freak out?"

"Actually no, but with your history, I suppose we should have thought about that.." He trailed off before Harry fidgeted again and he came back to himself. He cleared his throat, "We asked you to come alone because this news is very dangerous."

Harry's eyebrows furrowed. Then he realised what Snape meant, "You're still going to spy, and if Voldemort found out that you were my, well, my _father_, he'd wonder why you weren't bringing me to him."

"Exactly."

"So I can't tell my friends? Not even Ron and Hermione?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Snape's face before it disappeared, "Mr. and Mrs. Weasley have already been informed. You are free to tell Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger, but that is all, and they must keep it a secret. You know how important this is."

"Yes, sir. Er- thanks," He shifted in his seat again, now getting uncomfortable of the display his professor had witnessed.

"Go. I'm sure your friends are worried for you,"

Thankful, Harry scurried to the door, but stopped when he reached it. "So this summer..?"

"You'll be staying with me," Harry paled at the words, but nodded and made his escape.

On his way back to his dormitory, he thought about how completely his world had just turned upside-down again. This was absurd. How could Snape just pretend the last five years had never happened? How could the man comfort him - easily sweeping him into his arms as if he'd done the same a million times before? He'd seemed like he cared, he explained, but why now? Just because he was the git's spawn didn't mean he mattered to him. Like he said, he was just trying to please 'Olivia' or whoever.

He slumped his way towards the Common Room, getting angrier and angrier as he went. When he slammed the portrait open, Hermione and Ron jumped. He wondered for a minute about the lateness and the empty Common Room, but didn't spare it much time as he strode past his friends, ignoring their calls as he went.

SSHPSSHP

Ron shook Harry awake the next morning. Their classes were finished, but they'd still miss breakfast if they didn't leave now. Harry snapped at him though and his friend left him in bed.

Not more than an hour later, the curtains were pulled from around his bed, and someone was crawling on top of him, trying to get comfortable. The smell of food reached him under all his blankets and he sat up, seeing Hermione sitting on the foot of his bed, eating.

"Morning, sunshine, I got enough for two,"

"Hermione, I don't want to talk about it."

"I didn't bring it up. I just said I brought enough food for you too. Eat."

Harry sat up, running his hand through his hair and tucked in. The pair ate in silence until Ron came up the stairs and saw them. He joined them on the bed, and nibbled on a bit of food with them.

"Didn't you just eat, Ronald?"

"Er- yeah, but-" Hermione slapped his hand away so he turned to Harry, "That bad, mate?"

"Yeah."

"So someone we know?"

"Yeah."

"C'mon, mate, you know we're here for you."

"Snape."

"What'd he do?"

Harry laughed, "My mum, apparently."

Ron and Hermione sat in shocked silence for a moment, before Hermione collected herself, "Well, that's… unexpected."

"How awful was he about it?" Ron asked.

"He wasn't. Doesn't that just make it even bloody worse. He acted the part of the supportive- the caring- I don't even know what part he acted because I've never even had a family!" He exploded, making his friends wince. "He's been there the whole time, torturing me even when he knows everything I've been through, and all of a sudden it's like none of that ever happened!"

"Maybe he just wants to put a new foot forward. Maybe he wants it to all change. Maybe-"

"There's no use in 'maybe's, Hermione. He's a git, and he just did it for Dumbledore. Look, can we not talk about this? Just don't tell anyone," he mumbled, getting out of bed and heading for the loo.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Hermione and Ron turned to each other, neither having a solution.

SSHPSSHP

Harry packed his bags with all the other Gryffindors and went with them to board the train, but that was where his normalcy ended. McGonagall pulled him out of line and told him to go to the Dungeons; he'd be leaving by Floo with Professor Snape.

As he sullenly walked down to the dungeons, he thought of how dank, and dark, and boring his summer would be. Honestly, he was surprised that Snape even left school over break except to attend the Order's meetings. Vaguely he wondered if he'd be allowed to attend them, but figured that since it would make him happy, he probably wouldn't be.

As he neared the classroom, he thought back on what Snape said about a large family. Bitterness swept through him at the thought of a quaint little family that left him out in the rain like a kicked dog. He changed his mind then, seeing them all as hateful gits, sneering down on him.

By the time he shoved open the door, he was seething again, and Snape rose an eyebrow at him in mockery.

"What, pray tell, has gotten you in such a foul mood already? I noticed you weren't at the meals."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

"If something's bothering you, I can try to rectify matters."

"What if I told you that you were the problem?" Harry snapped.

Snape blinked in shock, "Then I would ask how to fix that."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter," Harry repeated, crossing his arms and petulantly turning away.

Silence fell as Snape watched him, "Your trunk is already there."

"Fine."

Snape sighed, and walked into his office, leaving Harry no choice but to follow. Moving towards the fireplace, Snape asked, "I assume you've used a Floo before?" He waited until Harry had nodded before continuing, "The address is Snape Apartments. Here."

Harry scowled and took a handful of the Floo Powder that Snape was holding out to him, and stepped into the fire, throwing it down.

A cacophony greeted him as he tripped on the other side, and he didn't have enough time to get out of the way before Snape came barreling through after him. The man simply steadied him as he murmured, "I keep telling her to move that blasted rug."

"Sev, dear, that you?" A light, soft voice called from the next room over.

"Who else?"

A tiny lady walked in from the next room, "You know no one appreciates your sarcasm?" She turned to Harry then, giving him a warm smile. Just as she was about to greet him, a large bang sounded from upstairs, followed by a series of crackling noises. Her sparkling blue eyes went wide, and she disappeared back through the doorway, only to return a few seconds later carrying a muggle fire extinguisher. "Those cretins-"

Snape took his wand and waved it at the ceiling, the noise instantly disappearing and shrieks taking its place as a patter of footsteps came down the stairs. "Oh, they know you're here now. I'd best go get Tobias before he makes a fuss."

"Daddy!" A high screech came from the doorway, and Harry saw a miniature, somehow pretty, female Snape running through the doorway. She couldn't have been more than six, and she ran to hug Snape. At least four others followed her through the doorway, jumping up and vying for their turn to hug Snape, who was laughing and trying to reach his arms around them all.

* * *

**A/N: Welp. Shock anyone?**


End file.
